Sinking

Cold and alone,
Winter cultivates inside me
Where she freezes my broken heart.

A desolate void,
Tendrils snaking outward
Silently rending my soul apart.

Emptiness.

Despair.

Wandering listlessly, afraid
Apathy seeded throughout me
Promising a fresh start.

The futility of it all,
A fleeting look at stolen dreams
And canvas devoid of art.

Loneliness.

Unfair.

Weak and trembling
I pray for succor

Guide me to the Holy Grail
That I may drink and be healed.

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2 thoughts on “Sinking

  1. I like the ending. Of course I can feel what you felt in the moment.

    Winter cultivates in me
    She freezes, she breaks my heart.

    (Don’t have to repeat the she. Just a suggestion. Since you’re sharing this on the heels of my post – and have welcomed feedback – I would say yes, the poem would be stronger without the progressive tense.)

    I am ruthless with my poetry – as you know, shave as much as I can. I wouldn’t use “completely” because the meaning is already in the word “devoid.” I do like the idea and image.

    You want to respell lonliness.

    Hope this helps.

    =)

    Like

    • Oh absolutely, and thank you. 🙂 I wouldn’t have put it beneath your scrutiny if I hadn’t expected your feedback.

      Always welcome, always welcome…

      Obviously some changes were needed, and as always, I have taken your advice to heart. 🙂

      Like

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