“You can’t, if you can’t feel it, if it never
Rises from the soul, and sways
The heart of every single hearer,
With deepest power, in simple ways.
You’ll sit forever, gluing things together,
Cooking up a stew from other’s scraps,
Blowing on a miserable fire,
Made from your heap of dying ash.
Let apes and children praise your art,
If their admiration’s to your taste,
But you’ll never speak from heart to heart,
Unless it rises up from your heart’s space.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust
Tag Archives: R. Richardsson
What’s Your Influence?
I like to fancy that life has its way of influencing me as a writer. It’s had its ups. I have the most wonderful and understanding wife that I could ever have asked for who has given me four beautiful children. Despite all odds, we continue to have a roof over our head, there is food to be had for every meal and we are even able to have a family night every now and again.
Life also has its downs. Due to the meager scrapings we have managed to pull together, we have to live day by day. Debt collectors are constantly knocking at our door and we often have to go without some of the things that most people take for granted; such as being able to buy new clothes, having simple repairs done to your vehicle and/or home, stocking up on groceries (as opposed to just having enough), going out to eat/the movies/any fun event. Oh, who am I kidding. We simply just go without. My wife and I have been married for seven+ years and we still have yet to go on a honeymoon. Our oldest son was born into the world with a serious condition that went unchecked, and when we later found it, we were blamed for it. It cost us over seven months of our lives and three quarters of our sanity.
I’m not lying when I say that things are tough, and we have our fair share of downs, vs. the ups in our lives, but let’s not lose sight of the bigger picture here, and that’s the subject of this post.
What is your influence?
That is the topic of this post and it is something that I wanted to touch on. Is it a passion for what you do? A particular interest in a certain subject? Or, is it an emotional state? Whenever I read any of Poe’s work, I can’t help but feel the emotional turmoil that he must have had gone through… Or maybe I’m just empathizing because I know of how much he suffered with depression?
For me, and this is why I shared a little about myself with you, my writing is influenced largely in part by the negative experiences I’ve had to endure. It’s also influenced by the type of people I’ve associated with for most of my life. Now, I’m not saying that I’ve associated with some shady types, but I will say that when we were together, we would talk about things that most people would need therapy after upon hearing.
I have a warped, twisted, disgusting imagination, I know, but it really shines when I put a story behind it. 🙂
If, by now, you have read my book, my previous blog posts, stories and other things that I have shared, you will have noticed some things.
I’m not shy when it comes to the violence/gore/language and all other things that make horror so fun and appealing.
The violence comes from a background of having an abusive, self-destructing father. It also comes from having an abusive step-father, who berated and put us down on a regular basis. The blood/gore comes from my passion for all things horror. The more disgusting and depraved it is, the better. And finally, my lack of restraint when it comes to language? Well, that comes from the company I choose, as well as a combination of the latter two examples.
All of these things influence me to some degree or another. While they might be enough to break most people, or send them down the same path as their predecessors, I’ve chosen to learn from them and dedicate my time to creating some particularly nasty things.
Yep, I said nasty. I chose that word because it’s something that people can identify with when they don’t like to see or read the things I’ve been talking about. It’s a common descriptor that works. But you know what? I LIKE it. It amuses me and I shan’t stop. I will go on writing these truly horrid tales about monsters, be they mythical, or (as in the case of my blog story ‘She Has A Pretty Face Though’) human, I will go on perfecting what is deftly becoming my craft.
I believe that what influences you, brings the best out of you as well. Seems like common sense to me, so why stray from the path?
Why indeed.
You see, what I have been doing right now is something I’m comfortable with. I’m using the things I’ve known to create stories that fit. I’m familiar enough with it that it just comes to me. Yeah, just as the Grand Puba of Mathematics could rip you a new one with a Euclidean algorithm, I can simply write a description about ripping you a new one.
Kinda demented when you think about it, but hey. Do what you know, right?
Except that shouldn’t always be right, should it?
I think that sometimes you have to jump on the other side of the fence from time to time, if you are to truly appreciate the things you know.
In this case, I will be doing away with some of the elements I have described. Once I am done with the ‘Ballad of John Rizzerio’ trilogy, and after I polish up some of the short stories I will be sharing as a collection, I’m going to step away from Horror for a bit and into something that I’ve only experienced as a pen and paper game; Medieval Fantasy.
Yep. Knights, Wizards, Magic, mythical creatures… The whole shebang. Obviously, my current style of writing won’t work for this. Furthermore, I’m hoping to reach a broader audience with it as well. Tone it down some? Why yes. I believe I will, thank you.
I’ll be working with an entirely different beast than what I have been, but if you’ve read my excerpts from ‘The Box’, by now, you might already see that I’ve been getting my feet wet, as it were.
Yes, I’ll be out of my element and writing about things that I have no experience with. But that’s the best part. I’ll truly be creating at that point and I’m excited at the prospect.
I draw from my experiences and I use them to create (or destroy) by using my imagination. I’ve always loved a good story, but the great ones come from a mind that has been influenced by something. Now, whether that’s an emotion, a physical/mental trauma, or coming from something else entirely is up to the individual.
I know that I will be challenged when I’m outside of my comfort zone, and maybe that’s really what this is all about, but I’ll tell you what. I love a good challenge.
So…
What’s your influence? (And, would (or have) you ever write outside of it?)
Dreams
I’m always amazed at some of the things that my mind produces while I’m asleep. Nothing is ever the same, well, except for that one reoccurring dream, but for the most part they are unique.
Dreams have a funny way of being influenced by your last thoughts, recent memories of something you did/watched/ate, or by the environment around you. Of course, they can also be influenced by fear, phobias, illnesses, and other negative aspects as well.
Some people claim to be able to control their dreams. Whether by meditation, diet, or some form of tether, it’s said that one can actively create and mold the world around them.
I can’t attest to this, however. My dreams are influenced by my environment, with just a smidge of fear thrown in. I seem to remember hearing somewhere that the dreams you remember the most happen before you reach deep sleep. That being said, I usually go to sleep with some light music playing in the background.
Most times I turn on the Traditional Classical or Symphony Hall channels from Sirius radio and set the sleep timer on my TV for an hour. Of course, it doesn’t always take me an hour to get to sleep, but it’s probably around there that I hit the deep end of it.
So what does that get me?
I tend to dream of my life, but with an upgrade. Sometimes I dream in alternate universes. What if I hadn’t met my wife? What if we hadn’t had kids? I enjoy the “what if” dreams because it gives me a chance to explore life outside of the confines that I currently exist in.
Other times, I dream in medieval fantasy. Magic, Knights, mythical creatures; it’s all there. These hail from my pen and paper gaming days, which I miss dearly, and I plan to write a volume of novels based around once I’m done with my current project(s).
The closest thing that I’ve had to a nightmare was after I had lost someone who was close to me. In my dreams, I was with that person when the accident occurred, but I always woke up just before…well, you know.
I’ve never really been able to control my dreams either. I think I have come close a few times, but then the dream would transition into another. Funny how that works. Just when you’re about to get what you want, whether it’s a pile of money, a new car, or that hot looking member of the opposite sex, things take a turn for the “WHY THE FUCK DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?!” Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Those are the ones where you wake up and you’re still poor, your car is still a piece of crap and you’re spooning with your body pillow.
I had a lot of nightmares when I was a kid as well. I think that my home situation had something to do with it. My parents were divorced when I was young and I bounced back and forth until my bum of a father killed himself. Mom did the best she could but sometimes her fears passed down to us and we worried a little more about things than kids are supposed to at that age.
There were dreams of poverty, yes. There were also dreams in which the bad people would get into our house… Looking back, I think these dreams weren’t all that bad when I consider the ones that derived from watching Elvira’s weekly special. (Or Ray Adam’s Friday Fright Night when it was on.) While I have a special place in my heart for horror now, back then was a different story.
The first time I saw a human skull really screwed me up for several weeks. Our (my sibling’s and I’s) room was connected to my Mom’s by a short hallway, halfway down of which was a small bathroom. For many, MANY nights, an eight foot tall skull with flames in its eyes would float down the hall towards me. Its mouth would slowly open, as it drew closer, until I could finally take it no more and woke screaming.
That one was the worst.
I enjoyed my escapist dreams more. This was in a different house and time, years after my father (bum) was buried. In these dreams, I would be laying in my bed when suddenly a portal to another dimension would open in the wall next to me. I always had the option of whether I wanted to go or not. I guess you already know what I chose…
Sometimes I would travel to a mystical kingdom where I would battle unspeakable horrors in order to save the town, princess, etc. Other times I would roll into the portal and into something else, like a pit full of spikes, or a river of molten lava. I would get the Anakin treatment, but sans the cool robotic outfit and breath-y helmet. Nor where there ever any cool powers or unlimited funds with which to build a death-ray. No, I just crawled from the fiery death sauce, the flesh dripping from my bones, with my organs boiling inside of me, until I would awaken out of breath with the final image of my eyes popping stuck in my head.
Speaking of stuck in your head… You’re welcome.
It’s been a long time since I had those dreams. As I said before, most of my dreams are influenced by my environment. If there’s music playing, the mood is that of the music. If there are sounds of traffic, I dream of the city. If there is a thunderstorm outside, well, you get the point, yes?
Dreams are funny things.
I find inspiration in my dreams and I create inspiration by which to dream by.
Tell me about some of your dream experiences.