When people ask me what I do, I tell them that I write (it’s more interesting than my other job). I tell them that I’ve self-published two novels and one novella, and that I was even quite successful for a while. Inevitably, they ask me, “How do you do that? I’ve always wanted to write a book!” I’m sure they’d like some neat, simple answer, but of course there isn’t one. Perhaps they’d like a list of ingredients, as if making a book followed a simple recipe, which it does not. So, in the interests of achieving the impossible, I’ll attempt to provide such a recipe here, amongst these hallowed posts, so that the next time someone asks, I can simply point them here and say, “Look! That is how it’s done.” *

* The author accepts no responsibility for any loss of free time, hair, or printing ink that…