The Plot Thickens, or, An Undertaker Distracted

Things have been unusually quiet Beneath The Headstone.  Plots once bustling with activity have become overgrown with weeds, the limbs of their newest occupant frozen mid-reach.  The grass has withered and each of the once vibrant leaves is now curled tightly against the cracked earth.

In the distance, through the jungle of concrete crosses and weeping angels is a Gothic stone building.  The windows are stained glass representations of an undertaker in various stages of burial.  In some of the images, the casket can still be seen above the ground, while others only show the tip of the undertaker’s hat.

There is a flickering light behind a window on the south side of the building, for he is hard at work on his latest project.  Even though there are still plots that remain to be filled, he prepares the presentation for one of his prize burials, the story of a certain vampire hunter who had been the first to enter these sacred grounds.

He has not forgotten about his tasks at hand, nor will his duties remain forgotten for very much longer.  Even now, wrapped as tightly in the creation of his newest film trailer, he is thinking ahead to the completion of each of his projects.

  1. J.R. van Helsing, Book 3 in the ‘Ballad of John Rizzerio’
  2. She Has A Pretty Face Though, a webseries about a young man who is slowly losing either a battle with his mind or with a demon
  3. The Box, a webseries about three adventurers searching for a legendary artifact inside of a dragon’s lair.
  4. Trespasser, a short story about what happens when an intruder threatens the safety of a family and their community
  5. Tis the Feeding, a short story about a man who loses everything, discovers happiness in food and what he does when it runs out.
  6. The Darkness Defines Us, a collection of short stories to be released as a novel, and is part of a prize in a contest that has been one year in the making.

Six plots, the graves of some filled higher than others, lay untended and seemingly forgotten.  Time has overtaken each of these gems, but it is only a temporary inconvenience for mourner and undertaker alike, for soon something new will inhabit the plots with-in.

J.R. van Helsing’s Book Trailer


Coming Soon

Look, You Just Can’t Make This Up

The shining star of this week has been the completion of the book cover for my upcoming novel; J.R. van Helsing.  I’m extremely pleased with the work of my artist, not that I haven’t been before, and am raring to spend some time away from my book to create a book trailer for it!  For the last two days, I have been scouring the internet for royalty free goodies that will be a fit for what I have in mind.

Yes, this cover has been the shining star over a week that has had the worst luck my family has seen in quite some time. 

You know how they say that bad things happen in threes, right?  Yeah…  We’re one shy of doubling that.

The first happened when my youngest boy was running through the house with a laundry basket over his head and he ran into one of our largest windows.  No, he wasn’t hurt!  Thank goodness!  But he made very good use of that one second we took our eyes off of him.  Quotes to replace it have been in the five hundred-dollar (plus) range.

The second happened that very same night.  While washing the dishes from dinner, my oldest dropped a ceramic bowl into the sink, shattering it.  Some of the smaller pieces fell into the garbage disposal, unbeknownst to her at the time, and whatever happened when it was next ran has assured that it will run no more.   Another hundred dollars in repairs.

A couple of days later, while exiting my van upon returning home from work, I dropped my cell phone.  Now… This isn’t anything I haven’t done before.  I have it in a protective case to help prevent any damage!  However, this time I won the lottery.  It landed on the bottom right corner, and for some reason that physics has yet to explain, the screen exploded.  Eight hundred-dollar phone, however, my protection plan will replace it.  I’m still waiting on it to get to my local sales team.  Yes, it’s good news, but my family depends upon me having this communication link.

Last night, as I was on my way home from work, my van became possessed by the spirit of Christine, and tried to defeat me by way of acceleration.  For some inexplicable reason, my van began to slowly accelerate and it would not stop!  My pedal was not stuck, nor was there anything keeping it down.   My brakes still worked. Again, thank goodness, because it could have gotten very ugly, very fast!  (No pun intended.)   

Finally, and the most painful of this unholy quintuple, I came home to find my wife in tears.  At some point between our room and the kitchen, her wedding ring decided that it was Harry Houdini in a past life, that is, if inanimate objects could be animate in a past life!

So.  That happened. 

I’m not usually the type of guy to air out his woes for the world to see, but this is something I had to get off of my chest.  Somewhere along the way, one of us crossed the path of a black cat.  We must have broken a mirror.  Hell, I’m apt to believe that I’ve roused the ancient wrath of God for crying out loud!

Perhaps by saying it, letting others see this series of unfortunate events, I can break this chain of bad luck.  Maybe my words will touch a reader who had been ‘touched’, (in a holy, good luck kind of way and not the creepy kind of way) and some of their good fortune will pay forward to us?  Yeah I’m reaching, but a guy can dream, right?

I know there are others less fortunate than we.  Some hail from broken homes, others battle with illnesses that no person should have to deal with.  Would I give all of my woes for just one?  I guess, no.  In retrospect material things are just that.  Broken or lost items can be fixed or replaced and we’ve had to go without a lot of things over the years, so what’s a few more?  

I’m not the most religious man.  

But you already knew that, right?  Sure you do.  I’m willing to bet that you’ve read some of my work by now?

As I was saying; I’m not the most religious man, but I suppose I should feel somewhat honored.  They say that ‘He’ never puts more on a person’s shoulders than they can bear.  Well, considering the cross we already carry, and now having these five vultures perched upon it, I’m led to believe that ‘He’ must think very highly of us.